MAC

This girl actually does not have a name. Well, it’s not like she doesn’t have a name, she just doesn’t tell anyone. It’s mostly because she’s constantly on her laptop. She spends a lot of time writing and editing short films for people; she’s amazing at both. She doesn’t write on paper, does all of her assignments on the computer and turns them in. I guess she has an agreement with the school board.



For now, we’ll call her… Mac. -The TIPster.

Jane The Gypsy

Jane started selling "psychic" readings during lunch for $5 a pop last week. Everybody in Paradise lined up to get a reading from the all knowing Jane. She made almost $500 from doing readings.
Some students lined up for another reading, to be read only the exact same thing they heard the other day.
Turns out Jane had a sheet of pre written readings she would read off, applicable to almost anybody.
Well Jane, I see a whole lot of nobody liking you in your future. Cheers. - TIPster

Carlos A.K.A. The King

Carlos, the undisputed king of four square, absolutely dominated the four square tournament. Cherry bombs were thrown left and right, snake eyes took down many opponents, Carlos was on a rampage.
He easily took first place. With his adrenaline pumping, he joined the kickball tournament scheduled for the end of the day.
Vicky The Kid pitched at top speed, Carlos got ready to kick, then he grabbed the ball with his hands, and threw it clear out of the field. Carlos was automatically out.
Maybe stay in the square where you belong, King Square. - TIPster

Zane

I bet you’re wondering what “Left-Direction” means. As a matter of fact, that’s Zane’s name, and he’s a huge One Direction fan. He legally had his name changed from Frank Houph, to Zane Left-Direction. He couldn’t make it One Direction because of copyright infringement issues. He’s a huge hearted kind soul with the voice of an angel.



Literally. We all think that an angel came down and gave him this miraculous singing voice in his sleep. -The TIPster.

Kyle Mathers A.K.A. Grease Monkey

Paradise high was having internet problems today. Kyle came up to the office and said "Ay lemme see the router, I'll knock it up and fix it quick fast like nothin' ayyyyy." The careless staff member shrugged and led him to the router.
Kyle walked up to it, leaned up against it, and knocked it with his hand.
The staff member gasped and stood in shock.
Kyle responded by pointing and winking.
The router was broken beyond repair.
Kyle ran out in embarrassment.
How's the TV show logic going for you Monkey? - TIPster

Terry Green A.K.A. Spoon Bender

 Today the Spoon Bender has graced us with his amazing talent, being able to bend spoons, with his MIND! Terry caught the attention of all the paradise high students in the lunch room and invited them to witness the greatness that is his spoon bending talents. 10 spoons laid out on a table, he began. Staring at them with extreme focus he pointed at them and concentrated.
10 minutes passed.
Nothing happened.
Terry ran up and bended all the spoons (with what seemed to be all of his strength) then ran off yelling, "I AM THE SPOON BENDER".
Congratulations Spoon Bender, you made something lame even lamer, a true dweeb. - TIPster

Greg (Gregorian) Chaute

This is Greg. Well, I guess in all technicalities, his name is Gregorian Regus Chaute III. His name absolutely has a story behind it, thanks for asking. As it turns out, Greg is related to Vikings. And he’s not just a descendent of past relatives. His father and mother are legitimate Vikings. Like, pillage villages, terrorize men and women, give children nightmares kind of Vikings. They’re both 250 pounds with red beards. His fathers is longer than his mothers, but she’s working on it.



They don’t get called to parent teacher meetings. Everyone agreed that they can be done over the phone, if that. -The TIPster.

Ken and Karen A.K.A. The "Get A Room" Couple.

Today marked a glorious day for this couple, they got engaged. Ken walked up to Karen, with flowers in hand (straight from his neighbors garden) gave them to her with a too long kiss, then got down on one knee. He pulled out a box with a ring and said "Hey, you're pretty cool, marry me or somethin'?" Karen replied "ok cool."
Congratulations, now you guys can at least have someone else to be weird with. - TIPster

Katmanda The Doodle Queen

During the in-between of 1st to 2nd period students discovered the walls of Paradise to be covered topped to bottom in doodles. Students didn't think too oddly of it, in fact they saw it as an excuse to draw on the walls themselves. By lunch all of Paradise was a huge art gallery. All the blame was pinned on Katmanda however, and she had to spend the next 3 months painting over the school.
Nice job taking the fall for all of us, we'll probably be super grateful, than forget about it the next day and start making fun of you again. Just speaking some truth girl. - TIPster

Brian The Burglar

Brian is a regular kid with a regular lifestyle and regular friends. Regular neighborhood and regular dog and regular sister, Brianna. The only strange aspect of her life is her parents. Her parents, as it turns out, are thieves. But, here’s the even weirder part; they’re only steal from animal shelters. And they don’t steal animals, they take animal care supplies. Like leashes and collars and doggie bubble bath. 



They don’t even use it for anything. They just stock it up in Brian’s room at night. -The TIPster 

Terror

Today and unknown person walked into Paradise today. He said absolutely nothing, would walk up behind people and breathed down their neck and disappear as soon as they turned around to investigate. Paradisio has dubbed him, "Terror". Legitimately speaking he didn't do anything wrong necessarily except for being a total creepazoid. After school Terror left and was never seen again.

On a totally unrelated note 3 students went missing yesterday. Weird. - TIPster

Shelby Waurd A.K.A. That Girl That Rides a Scooter around School.

Today Shelby Waurd went out to lunch with a group of friends. On their return trip her carpools car died. She had 5 minutes to get to class from approximately 4 minutes away (assuming you're driving.) This tardy would ruin her perfect attendance record. Without hesitation Shelby got of the car with her trusty scooter in hand and bolted her way toward school, hitting a top speed of 35 mph. She was swerving into the school parking lot, just about to turn towards the doors.
CRASH!
Shelby slammed right into the side of a car, (ironically being the car she was riding in.) she immediately lost consciousness. Her friends walked into class without a problem, she however missed the rest of her classes. Not because she was late, but because being so ditzy from the crash she strolled into the wrong rooms. 
Morale of the story hear? Slackers are rewarded these days - TIPster

Spencer The Spartan

Today kick-ball tournament was absolute havoc when Spencer The Spartan stepped up to the plate. The legendary kick-ball star Vicky The Kid was pitching, cocky smirk on her face. She pitched the red rubber ball at top speed, nearly breaking the sound barrier. Spencer let out a loud cry then yelled "THIS, IS, PARADISE!" then let out the most powerful kick we've seen here at Paradise. It broke the record for longest distance a ball was kicked, and also broke the record for longest distance foul kick. Spencer kicked it completely out of the in zone. He did this after two more kicks. He scored a total of 0 runs that game. Spencer's kicks are a bigger waste of talent than Harker's juggling skills. - TIPster

Taylor McNasty

Taylor somehow managed to get into Tanner McHam's puppet collection and took two puppets. Taylor got on stage during and assembly today, with the two puppets in hand, and walked up to the microphone and gave this aspiring speech. "Look, I can make these puppets make out." And she in fact, proceeded to make those puppets make out. Tanner McHam didn't take this lightly, he felt as if his puppets were being violated by some half wit. Tanner charged Taylor (with Samantha the Pretty Pretty Princess in hand) and knocked her onto the ground. Tanner then proceeded to use Samantha's hands to slap Taylor in the face. Then, through a series of complicated events they ended up having a full on puppet brawl. It was vicious, each lifeless puppets received serious trauma from each others limp limbs. 
The school watched in awe, before Mr.smith broke up the fight. They both received 2 months detention.  
I think I can speak for all of us when I say I can't wait for Taylor's next life changing speech. - TIPster

Samantha A.K.A. The Pretty Pretty Princess

Today Paradise has been honored with the opportunity to have her majesty attend our school. She transferred from her high school in never never land and just landed toda-

Just kidding. Tanner McHam has been running around with this puppet and pretending to have it talk, and whenever someone would tell him to stop it (or shut up) he'd just deny his presence and say "No Tanner here, only the pretty pretty princess". But hey, if I were him, I'd want to be someone else too. The only royalty around here is the royal pain this dweeb is. - TIPster

Vicky The Kid

 During this years annual kickball tournament. Vicky signed up for every team. Nobody wanted her, so she ended up on the team was created for the kids that couldn't get into any teams. Vicky was the first kick of the entire tournament. The other team taunted her, they all moved in closer, as if to say she wouldn't be able to kick any farther. The pitcher smirked, and pitched the ball very lightly. The ball rolled slowly towards Vicky. She took a few steps back, then let out a cry and ran full speed into the ball, she threw her leg full force into the ball. She kicked it so hard that she destroyed the indestructible red ball. With the absence of a kick ball the tournament was canceled. Vicky got her picture in Paradise's hall of fame as the schools kick ball star. It is said she has been offered a full ride scholarship to a school China to join their world elite kick ball team. 
Guess we even suck at the lame sports, perhaps we should take up four square next year.
- TIPster 

Andrew "The Catfish" Martin

The enigmatic figure known as "Catfish" has recently been identified as our very own classmate Andrew Martin. Reginald has been making fake accounts on the popular social media network "FaceSpace.com" and would flirt with different girls (sometimes boys) and have them fall for the person in the account picture. Andrew has broken more hearts than most head cheer leaders. Andrew was eventually caught when the person he was catfishing was sitting right next to him. All it took was for them to glance at Andrew's computer screen to realize that they were chatting with him instead of Bosnian model "Marvel Steel Abs". Andrew has admitted to catfishing over 150 people around the state. So to all of you online fishers out there, be careful, you just might catch a catfish. - TIPster

Allison Flores A.K.A. A.D.H.D. Alli

 Allison Flores (A.D.H.D. Alli) had 8 red bulls this morning. In P.E. she ran around the school about 43 times before the teacher realized she wasn't actually in the class and kicked her out. On her return trip to her respected class she spotted a fellow student playing the classic game "Dunce, Dunce, Revolution" and an empty platform next to him. She quickly hopped on and went crazy, hitting arrows at a rate of about 15 times a second, a new record. After the game was over she received an atrocious score, turns out she was just stepping on arrows at random. She ran out of the room cheering "In yo face kid, I am the DDR Queen!" before she could find any of this out.
She was later found passed out in the middle of the hallway.
The DDR Queen? More like The Spaz Queen.
- TIPster                                      

Cindy (The Animal Freak) Del Rey

Cindy (The Animal Freak) Del Rey was caught trying to sneak into a Lion's cage at the zoo. Cindy had to be dragged out of the zoo by security. She said that the Lions were "her people" and that it was "her home".

Better luck next time Del Rey, guess for now you're stuck with the animals at Paradise. - TIPster

Bougie The Rich Kid Rasmussen

Bougie The Rich Kid Rasmussen recently bought a new yacht (with his parents money). After taking a joy ride around his families private island, Bougie decided the ride wasn't fun enough. He ordered the driver to drive straight into a slanted rock, saying "to drive off it like dukes of hazard, it'll be cool." Upon impact the yacht did not fly off it "like dukes of hazard", in fact the yacht is now broken beyond repair. Bougie wasn't fazed at all, saying "My parents can by like a million of those." And his parents in fact, can. 
Well bougie, lucky for you your money compensates for your intelligence. - TIPster

Sarah Roberts A.K.A. "Snot Rocket"

Jaxon Jackson and Sarah Roberts found themselves in a "sticky" situation in the hall during lunch.
The couple met up in the hallway for a Pre-Lunch make out shesh. Sarah, initiating the kiss, leaned in. Right before their lips made contact, she sneezed, covering Jaxon's face with snot.

It was quiet the turn off, Jaxon understandably ran off.
Sarah stood still in embarrassment.
Smooth.
Try covering you're face next time you sneeze, "Snot Rocket". - TIPster